


And I'll never let go

by Midnight_Sunrise_63



Series: Akaashi's missing [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Akaashi really needs a hug, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bokuto trying his best, Child Abuse, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Kidnapping, M/M, Not me updating the tags many weeks after posting this heehee, Panic attacks and terrible memories, Poor Kuroo Tetsurou, So does everyone besides evil evil mob boss dude, Some Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-16 23:49:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28964907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Midnight_Sunrise_63/pseuds/Midnight_Sunrise_63
Summary: Akaashi hasn't come to school for three days. Bokuto has no idea what has happened until he went to visit Akaashi.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Series: Akaashi's missing [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2155353
Comments: 6
Kudos: 26





	And I'll never let go

**Author's Note:**

> This has been written over the course of three or so months, so my writing style may have changed throughout the story, but I hope you still enjoy it. I'm also not really sure how to add archive warnings because it's not explicit, not very at least. I mean, sexual assault is partially referenced but not detailed at all. So... Sue me if you get uncomfortable, I guess.

“Today! Today will be the day!” Bokuto announced proudly as he entered the gym for morning practice. “Ah, he’s normally here by now. Hey hey hey! Has anyone seen Akaashi?” he called.

“No, no one has seen him yet,” Saruki said as he began to set up the net. 

“Ah. Maybe he’s sick today,” Bokuto thought for a moment. No, he would have texted me. Is he mad at me or something? I hope not… 

Bokuto shrugged off the thought and joined in setting up the gym for practice. He half-expected Akaashi to turn up late to practice, or school at least. However, the dark haired setter never showed. 

That was when Bokuto really started to panic. He picked up his phone, clicked on Akaashi’s contact and pressed the call button as he made his way down the sidewalk towards his own house.

“I can’t come to the phone right now, please try again later and leave your message. Have a nice day!”

“Akaashi! Hey, I uh,” Bokuto started. “You weren’t at school today, and you didn’t text me to say you were sick or anything. Just wanted to check in on ya! I miss you!”

He hung up and slunk down the sidewalk. I hope he’s alright. I don’t know what I would do if something happened to him. 

Akaashi wasn’t at school the next day, nor the day after. Bokuto tried calling his phone multiple times per day. Nothing. He finally decided to pay Akaashi’s house a visit. As he passed a mailbox on his way to the setter’s house, he froze dead in his tracks.

He turned around, staring at the sheet of paper taped onto the side of the mailbox. 

Missing: Akaashi Keiji 

Bokuto swore his heart ceased to beat. “Akaashi’s… missing..?”

A few days ago… 

Akaashi clutched his schoolbag as he began his journey home. “See you later, Bokuto-san,” he smiled at the energetic ace.

“Bye Akaashiii!” Bokuto grinned widely and went his seperate way. 

The setter kept walking, hands clutched on his school bag and face all flustered. “So energetic.”

He had almost reached his house when an unfamiliar car pulled up beside him, a male voice whistling from the passenger seat. 

“Can I help you?” Akaashi asked, pinching his wrist to keep from trembling. 

“My buddies and I were thinking of how unbearably cute you are,” the passenger seat man grinned, peeking up at Akaashi from underneath some seemingly expensive sunglasses. “Why don’t you get in the car, boy? We want to take you to a better place.”

“Sorry, but I’m not interested,” Akaashi briskly walked down the sidewalk, but the car began to follow him. His pace quickened, and soon, he was sprinting along the sidewalk. 

Please, please leave me alone! He wanted to scream. He wanted to run into Bokuto’s safe embrace, not into some random creeps’ car! Wasn’t there any way Bokuto could protect him right now? He didn’t have any hope for himself, especially when he heard footsteps behind him. 

Strong arms wrapped around Akaashi’s waist, pulling him to the curb.

“No! I don’t want to go! Let me go!” he yelled, pushing against the man as he was shoved into the car. 

“Oh come on, don’t be like that. You’re going to enjoy our time together,” the passenger seat man said.

Akaashi was shaking violently, his bag hugged tightly to his chest. He felt a finger start tracing along his upper thigh, and he shivered more. What can I do against men who are so much stronger than me..? He buried his now tear-stained face in the top of his bag. Why can’t I just be with Bokuto-san?

“B-Bokuto-san,” Akaashi muttered helplessly. “He must be worried…”

“You’ve been mentioning that boy’s name for a while now. Would you like us to get him so you can have some company?” the passenger seat man, whose name was said to be Morishita, etched something onto a piece of paper.

Akaashi awoke from his daze immediately and shook his head quickly. “No! Leave him alone please!” 

“Heh heh,” Morishita looked up at him, grinning widely. “But I want my little Keiji to be happy.”

“I would be happier if you didn’t take Bokuto-san too,” Akaashi shuddered against Morishita’s grip on his waist. 

“I see, Keiji. You’re happy here?”

“N-” he began, but Morishita’s hand struck out and slammed into Akaashi’s cheek, causing his lip to split and bleed. “Yes! Very happy! The happiest I’ve ever been!”

“Wonderful!” Morishita stood, scooping Akaashi up in his arms. “Let me clean you up, okay?”

Akaashi nodded, then leaned his head against Morishita’s shoulder. He heard his all-too familiar ringtone go off as Bokuto tried to call for the fifth time today. He must be terrified. It’s been what? Four days, I think. 

Morishita took Akaashi into the bedroom they shared, picking up a dampened cloth from a small bowl of water. He rested Akaashi on their bed, dabbing the cloth gently on his bleeding lip. “How does it feel, Keiji?”

“It feels fine now,” Akaashi gingerly pressed his pointer finger against his lip, then felt Morishita’s hand slowly pull his down.

“I must apologize,” he leaned close and planted a soft kiss on Akaashi’s lips. 

“Don’t worry about it,” Akaashi hid his pain with a smile. “Now, didn’t you have more paperwork to finish?”

“Mhm, yes, but you come first,” the man pushed Akaashi flat onto the bed.

Just as the man was about to pamper Akaashi, the telephone on the nightstand started to ring, making Akaashi let out an relieved breath. 

Morishita growled, stomping over to answer the blaring phone. “What is it?!” he barked.

Akaashi sat up, acting like he was concerned about the phone conversation as Morishita tensed. “Then divert them from our location.”

A moment of silence. “DIVERT. THEM. FROM. OUR. LOCATION. I KNOW YOU CAN.”

The dark haired setter shivered, clenching the blanket at his sides as Morishita slammed the phone back onto the nightstand. “I’m sorry, Keiji. Duty calls. I’ll be sure to pay attention to you later. Get some sleep, now,” he kissed Akaashi’s lips again before storming into the main room of the mob hideout. 

Bokuto-san, I’ve missed forty-six of your calls and three-hundred fifty six text messages. I don’t know how many more I’ll miss before I see you again. But maybe I can just sleep this all off. Maybe it’s just a bad dream. Maybe. I can hope so… Akaashi laid on the soft pillows, pulling the blankets taught around his shaking body. He closed his eyes, ignoring the small stream of blood that began pouring from his lip. He didn’t care anymore. He just wanted Bokuto next to him instead of some perverted mob boss.

I can certainly hope so… 

Please, this has to be just a bad dream! Bokuto covered his face with his blanket. He hadn’t been sleeping well ever since he saw that missing poster. That was three days ago. He hardly exited his room, not wanting anyone to see him like this at practice nor school. His parents understood, but were terribly saddened to see their ever-energetic son look so defeated.

It has to be a dream, right? He felt a tear slip from his eye, thinking of everything that could have happened to the Fukurodani setter. He could be hurt, pleading for help, getting abused, getting sexually assaulted or harassed, or all of them combined. It terrified Bokuto.

Akaashi, please be alright. He didn’t know what he’d do if someone had hurt Akaashi. My pure Akaashi, why would anyone want to hurt him? He’s… He couldn’t bear thinking about it any longer, but the thoughts were always persisting against his walls.

Bokuto closed his eyes, wanting nothing more than to sleep. Either that or wake up from this nightmare. But even with all of his wants, he knew the dreams he could have in the night would be awful, even worse than reality. 

He pulled up his phone, then clicked on Kuroo’s contact. He held the phone to his ear after pressing call. 

“Bokuto! You hardly ever talk to me anymore, bro,” Kuroo chuckled. “You okay?”

“Akaashi went missing.”

The silence that ensued was painful for both Bokuto and Kuroo.

“How long, Bokuto?” Kuroo asked after a minute.

“I think it’s been about a week. But I haven’t paid attention to the days. I can’t keep track anymore,” Bokuto shook off another threat of tears. “I don’t know what to do. I want to help, Kuroo, but… I don’t know what to do!”

“I wish I could tell you, Bokuto. I really wish I could. But all you can really do is wait.”

“I’m tired of waiting! I want Akaashi back, and I want Akaashi back in my arms! It’s where he belongs!” Bokuto nearly threw his phone into the wall, but stopped his arm at the last second. “I haven’t even told him my feelings for him, Kuroo! He doesn’t even know how much I love him!”

“I know, Bokuto, God I know. I can’t even begin to imagine how much pain you’re in right now.”

There was more dead air between the two boys. 

“Please Kuroo, don’t hang up on me,” Bokuto whispered.

“You know I won’t. You just try and get some sleep, okay? I’m here for you,” Kuroo sighed.

“Thank you,” Bokuto closed his eyes, resting his weary head on the pillows. 

“Anything for a bro,” Kuroo said quietly as Bokuto began to snore. 

“Oh, my dear Keiji! Your lip is bleeding again!” Morishita gasped, immediately wiping the strand of blood dripping down Akaashi’s chin. 

Akaashi stirred awake once the familiar damp cloth reached his mouth. 

“Did I wake you? Please forgive me, my dear Keiji.”

“Don’t worry ‘bout it,” he yawned. “Is everything alright? After that call, you seemed really angry.”

“Ah, just normal police ordeals. One of my underlings almost gave our location away. I’ll have to teach him a lesson after that screw-up,” Morishita cracked his knuckles.

“No, please don’t hurt him!” the words reluctantly ripped from Akaashi’s throat, and he jumped back against the headboard when Morishita’s head snapped back toward him. “I-I mean!” his voice lowered to a whisper. “Forgive my outburst…”

Morishita responded with a backhand slap to Akaashi’s face, causing him to fall against the bed with a muffled cry. “I was in a good mood, Keiji. I almost let you read and listen to all your voicemails and text messages. Almost. Then that call happened, and your outburst. Unacceptable. You don’t tell me how to run this, got it?”

“I-I know, p-please, it was just out of instinct!” Akaashi pleaded, gingerly covering his sore cheek. “I won’t t-talk anymo-more, promise!”

Morishita shook his head quickly, then widened his eyes in surprise. “Oh Keiji, I’ve hurt you again,” he quickly crawled into bed with Akaashi, hugging him tightly and kissing his cheek. “I apologize.”

“It’s alright. I know you lose yourself sometimes,” Akaashi faked a smile as he hugged Morishita back. “I-I can keep you company as you work.”

“Mhm,” he picked Akaashi up out of bed, carrying him on his forearm as he made his way back to his office. 

The setter hung his arms around Morishita’s neck as the mob boss sat behind the all-too familiar desk and situated himself in his chair, Akaashi in his lap. He watched as Morishita continued his paperwork, then heard his ringtone sound off again, then fade back into silence.

“You may listen to the voicemails. That is all,” Morishita signalled for one of his men to bring Akaashi his phone, to which Akaashi’s heart leaped in the air. 

“Thank you!” he grabbed his phone with undeniable desperation and clicked on the voicemail notification.

“You have forty seven voicemails,” the automated voice said in a monotone.

“Akaashi! You’re coming to school today right? Well, just please be here for afternoon practice! I miss you!” Bokuto’s sweet voice was pure music to Akaashi’s ears.

“Akaashi, you’re starting to scare me. Please pick up so I know you’re alright!”

“It’s Bokuto, if you didn’t notice already, heh heh. Look, please answer the phone. I want to hear your pretty voice.”

“I just saw a poster that said you were missing! Please tell me it isn’t true! You’re just playing a really long and elaborate prank right? Akaashi please! I can’t live like this!”

“Akaashi, look. I can’t live without you. All I want is to hear you one more time.”

“Hey, volleyball practice just isn’t the same without you. I can hardly hit any tosses, and the team is failing without you. We need you.”

“I need you.” 

“Akaashi, I never got to tell you this. But, I am deeply in love with you. Hopelessly, helplessly, desperately in love with you. The day you didn’t show to school, I was planning on telling you. Please let me say these words to your face, please. This would be the part where I’m on my knees, begging the universe to give you back to me.”

“I just wanted to call and say I believe in you. I know you’re out there, alive and waiting for me. So I’ll wait for you too, okay? The police are looking for you, and they are pretty sure they have a lead. Just hang on, okay?”

“I love you, Akaashi. Please be safe.”

And many more, just like the ones before. 

Akaashi covered his mouth, tears flowing from his eyes as Bokuto’s words filled his waking mind. He placed his phone face down on the desk after the last voicemail was listened to and engraved in his brain. Morishita tightened his grip on Akaashi’s waist as he heard him begin to sob. They sat in complete silence for the remainder of the day. 

Bokuto rested on his bed, hands fidgeting with the strings of his sweater. Now, it had been a month since Akaashi went missing. There were no new leads, no evidence to who took him or where he was.

He knew this, and he was completely and utterly defeated. He grabbed his phone, dialing Akaashi for the… How many times have I called him? I’ve lost count.

As always, Akaashi’s voicemail responded to him. After the beep, Bokuto began to speak.

“It's been a month, but I still believe in you, Akaashi. I'll always believe in you, just as you believe in me. I know we're going to find you, and when we do, well,” Bokuto sighed, a tiny smile gracing his lips for the first time since he saw that poster. “I’m never letting you go again.” 

He took in a deep breath. “I love you, Akaashi Keiji. I really do. You know what? Let's go stargazing after we find you, yeah? We'll sit on my roof, bundled up in blankets, you wrapped tightly in my arms. I'll never let you go again. I don't want to lose you again. So please, please let me see your beautiful smile and those gorgeous eyes, because I found out I can hardly live without them.

“I can't live without your touch, those soft hands that picked me up and dragged me, quite literally at times. But the hands that also patted my head when I did a good spike. I can't live without your voice, the one that praised me after a good spike, but also scolded me when I threw my jackets and almost lost them. 

“I just miss you, so much more than you can possibly imagine. But, at the same time, I also love you more than you can possibly imagine. I'm getting desperate to find you, and I'm determined to do just that. It doesn't matter who took you, because I'll find a way. That's just how much I love you. Good night, Akaashi Keiji. May I hope to see you tomorrow.”

Bokuto hung up, small tears rolling down his face. “I can hope.”

Akaashi had completely lost hope. As he laid in bed with Morishita's arms wrapped tightly around him, he closed his eyes softly as he began to hum a song under his breath. It didn't have any meaning, but it started soothing Akaashi to sleep.

But just before he fell under, shouts of anger and alarm filled his ears and he snapped upright. Morishita blinked awake, then the shouts became more distinguished.

“Police are here! Hide the boy, boss!” 

The mob boss jerked his head to face Akaashi, fury in his glare. “You called them, didn't you?! DIDN'T YOU?!”

Akaashi scrambled back, then fell off the side of the bed with a small gasp of pain. “I didn't! I swear I didn't! I don't have my ph-phone, a-and you've been with me the entire time!” he stammered. “Pl-please, believe me!”

He pressed himself against the wall and began to sob. Morishita landed a harsh slap on his face before picking him up underneath his arm and throwing him into the closet roughly. 

He rearranged the clothes inside, so Akaashi was completely hidden. Then, slammed the doors and locked them. “One word from you, and you won't ever see the light of day, or listen to your voicemails ever again!”

Akaashi covered his mouth, silently crying into his hands. He curled into a ball, not daring to call out for the police. Morishita’s footsteps faded into the next room over, then completely disappeared into the distance. A few minutes of agonizing silence followed, then more footsteps came bustling into the room. 

“AKAASHI!” 

“B… B-Bokuto-san..?” he whispered.

“AKAASHI WHERE ARE YOU?!”

The voice was getting closer and closer. Then, more footsteps joined Bokuto’s.

“Check the closet!” a man ordered.

“Yes sir!” 

The door was broken open, and the light poured in.

“Akaashi? Are you in there?” Bokuto poked his head in, then yanked the abundance of clothes out. His eyes widened, and even stepped back, opening his arms wide. “Akaashi!”

The setter leaped from the closet into Bokuto's safe arms, burying his face into the crook of his neck. “Oh Akaashi… Akaashi… Akaashi I missed you so much!” he tightened his grip as he repeated the setter’s name.

“The boy’s been found, I repeat, the boy Akaashi Keiji has been found,” an officer reported into his radio.

“B-B-Bokuto…” Akaashi managed. “A-a-am I d-dreaming?”

“No, Akaashi. It's not a dream,” he smiled kindly.

“Alright boys, you two need to clear the area. Get back outside, we have to arrest these mobs,” an officer lightly touched Bokuto's shoulder.

Bokuto nodded, standing up and carrying Akaashi like a princess back to the entrance. He hid his face in his chest, afraid of Bokuto seeing his injuries from Morishita. 

But just as he was about to speak, Akaashi was ripped from Bokuto's grasp. Morishita gripped him by the neck tight, a gun pointed at his temple. “No!” Akaashi fought against Morishita. “Let me go! Bokuto!” He reached for Bokuto, but Morishita dragged him back.

“I thought I said one more word and you'll never see the light of day, or him ever again. And you just-” Morishita ceased to speak after a harsh-sounding clank. His eyes widened with pain, and he fell forwards.

Akaashi hurried away so he wouldn't get crushed, and retreated back to Bokuto, who picked him up yet again. He felt Akaashi’s legs wrap around his waist, and he held on tighter as he made for the ambulance at the back of the police brigade.

Just before they reached the ambulance, however, Akaashi spoke. “Stop, stop for just a moment, Bokuto-san.”

He did as Akaashi requested. “Yes?” 

“All your voicemails… did you mean it?” 

“They let you listen to them?” 

“Please…” Akaashi began to cry. “Did you mean it?”

“You mean two months worth of love voicemails?” he chuckled. “Silly Akaashi, of course I did! I love you, and I want to make up two months of lost time.”

“Mhm,” Akaashi relaxed in his arms. “I love you too, Bokuto-san.” His voice cracked, and he started to cry again. “I missed you so much!” 

“I missed you too,” Bokuto saw the cuts and bruises all over Akaashi’s face, but also not just his face, practically his entire body was bruised. “That bastard, hurting my Akaashi like this. It's unforgivable!” He inhaled deeply to calm himself. 

“I-I’m sorry! I won't do it again!” Akaashi burst, and he froze as Bokuto gasped.

“Aaah, I'm sorry! I scared you! Let's just get you to the hospital, okay? I'm so sorry, Akaashi!” Bokuto walked the few extra steps to the ambulance, resting him down on the cot.

But Akaashi refused to let go. “S-stay with me, please?”

Bokuto looked at the EMT for approval, and she nodded. “Okay, Akaashi. I'll stay with you for as long as you want me to.”

Akaashi spent the next week in the hospital, with Bokuto by his side the entire time. Once he was released, he never went anywhere without Bokuto. When he walked to and from school, he always walked to and from Bokuto’s house. He hardly ever went back to his own home because he just didn't feel safe. 

As Bokuto was preparing a box meal for himself and Akaashi, the setter was beside him. He walked over a few steps, then got on his tiptoes to grab a glass cup. Unfortunately, his hands were still so shaky, he lost his grip and the glass cascaded down and shattered all over the floor.

Bokuto jerked his head towards Akaashi in surprise and a hint of fear. The setter jumped back out of habit, attempting to duck under the table but he cried out in pain and sank to the floor. 

“Don't move anymore, Akaashi. You got some glass in your feet,” he grabbed the dustpan and broom, sweeping it all up and tossing it into the trash.

Akaashi trembled as Bokuto got closer, but then looked into his kind eyes and caring smile. “It's just me, Bokuto. I'm never going to hurt you, so please. Don't shy away from me,” he kissed Akaashi's forehead softly, then sat on his knees and pulled Akaashi's foot into his lap.

He grabbed the first aid kit he kept in his back pocket, and pulled out the tweezers. He squeezed a section with a smaller shard, and used the tweezers to ease it out. He repeated the process until there was no more glass in either of the setter’s feet.

He then bandaged up all the bleeding cuts and helped Akaashi to stand before hugging him to his chest. “Feel better?”

Akaashi nodded. “I'm sorry, Bokuto-san, I broke your cup.”

“That doesn't matter. What matters is me helping you get over your PTSD. He hurt you when you did or said something wrong, and I'm going to make sure that you never expect a beating if you break anything,” he whispered in Akaashi's ear. “You never deserved any of that…”

“B-but, what if I break something else? Wh-what if it's something you can't replace? Bokuto-san, what if I did deserve-”

Bokuto pressed his forehead to Akaashi’s, eyes piercing. “No. You didn't deserve it. And no matter what you say or break, I'm going to kiss you and say it's alright, because it won't matter.”

Akaashi scrunched his face up to wail, crumbling into Bokuto's strong arms. He couldn't form any sort of words to convey his emotions, so he just let out all his fear, all his anxiety, and all his frustration right then. Bokuto didn't say anything either. He just hugged his setter tightly.

The partially-completed box meal lay forgotten for the next half hour as Bokuto comforted Akaashi. The minute he resumed was when he heard Akaashi's stomach gurgle and whine.

“Hungry?” he asked softly.

“Mh hm,” he nodded, and Bokuto started to release him, but Akaashi grabbed at the hem of his shirt. “Please don't leave me!”

“Oh Keiji,” Bokuto leaned back down and opened his arms, scooping Akaashi up like a baby. “It's okay, I'm just going to be right here. Do you want to sit on the counter and watch me?”

That got another nod and Bokuto hoisted Akaashi up into the counter. He smiled kindly as he handed the setter a granola bar to snack on. “This will be done soon, okay? Just eat that for now.”

“Okay,” Akaashi pulled back the wrapper and started munching. He stopped chewing for a moment to swallow, but didn't take another bite. “Bokuto-san?”

“Yes, Akaashi?”

“That man, the one who grabbed me away from you,” he started.

“Hm? What about him?”

“Bokuto-san, he touched me. He touched me in ways I never wanted,” he finished, voice hushed. He got no response. “Bokuto-san, do you find me disgusting because of that? I'm not pure anymore. I'm dirty now, and…” he trailed off when he heard Bokuto calmly place the object in his hand on the counter.

Bokuto looked over to him with sad eyes and a frown. “Akaashi, you said you never wanted him to touch you like that. I would never put you down for anything like that. He was a full grown man, Akaashi. I understand that there was little you could do.”

Akaashi looked down at the granola bar in his trembling hands. “I'm sorry. Forget I said anything.”

“Akaashi, I'm not lying to you. I swear on my life,” he held Akaashi's hands to steady them. “I swear on this heart beating in my chest, I won't ever lie to you. I swear on the blood that runs in these veins, I won't hurt you. And I swear with these eyes that I see you with, I won't ever look at you as disgusting, because you are so, so beautiful, Akaashi,” he kissed Akaashi’s knuckles. “These hands, these legs, these arms, your chest, everything. Everything about you is gorgeous and perfect, Akaashi. I wouldn't have it any other way.”

Bokuto reached up to caress Akaashi's now-wet cheek. “I love all your flaws, may they be few in numbers, all your pros, everything. This, that wretched man, he means nothing. He has always meant nothing. And the reason is because I'm the one who's going to love you right, the one who's going to help you, and the one who's going to make sure you're always okay. Akaashi Keiji, can you trust me with something as valuable as your life? Because I am willing to fight tooth and nail to make sure it's the best life from now on.”

Akaashi couldn't speak yet again. He managed a single nod and after a minute, three words. Three short and simple words, but they meant everything to Bokuto. “I trust you.”

Bokuto grinned, stroking Akaashi's soft locks. “I'm glad, Keiji.”

The meal was finished about twenty minutes afterwards, and they dished up their plates before sitting on the couch. Akaashi curled up in Bokuto's lap, back pressed to his chest. They ate in comfortable silence, a movie playing quietly in the background. 

“Do you need or want anything, Keiji?” Bokuto asked after their dinner was finished. 

Akaashi shook his head. “Just you, Koutarou.”

“I can certainly provide that, Keiji.”

Akaashi awoke before the sun rose. He looked over and saw Bokuto sleeping peacefully beside him, limbs draped over Akaashi's body and keeping him as close as possible. He laid in silence, eyes slowly scanning the ceiling. There was nothing interesting about the ceiling, Akaashi deduced. Plain and white, uneven. He reached an arm up towards the ceiling, spreading his fingers across his field of vision.

He sighed quietly, turning over to the other side of the room. His mind then decided to begin playing tricks on Akaashi, showing the shadows shifting as if someone was there. 

But, it made Akaashi anxious. There had been plenty of times where he had woken up in the middle of the night and seen Morishita bustling around the room, and sometimes he just stared at the boy. Akaashi curled into Bokuto, whining. The shadows reached for him, whispering his name in the slippery voice of his kidnapper.

“Keiji~ Keiji I know you want me~”

Akaashi shied away, but the shadow grabbed his cheek, and he screamed, pushing and shoving away at the non-existent mob boss.

“-Shi? Akaashi. Akaashi!” Bokuto had jerked awake, leaping from the bed into a defensive position. He faced Akaashi then, and immediately dropped his fists. “Akaashi, shh shh, it's okay,” he quickly flipped on the lights, and the shadow disappeared. 

The setter rocked back and forth, eyes wide with fear. Bokuto reached for him, and instead of shying away like he expected, Akaashi jumped into his embrace, sobbing into his shoulder. “It's okay, it was just an illusion, a trick of the light. Well, trick of the dark, I guess. It's okay, Akaashi. He's gone now, never to be seen again.” 

“Yo-you’re right… gone gone gone… he's gone,” Akaashi repeated. “And Bokuto-san is with me instead… yeah, I love Bokuto-san, not him. I love Bokuto-san, I love Bokuto-san…”

“Akaashi, come on. Let's get you back to sleep, okay? I'll hold you again and keep you safe,” Bokuto stood, Akaashi still cradled in his arms, and flipped the lights back off. “I have a nightlight I can turn on. Would you like that?”

He got a nod, and plugged in a simple night light. “Th-thank you, Bokuto-san, for loving me.”

“Anything for my setter, Akaashi. I love you so much.”

Akaashi laid atop Bokuto, chests lying flush together. Bokuto stroked Akaashi's spine, tucking the boy's head under his chin. He only rested once he was sure Akaashi was asleep as well.

Bokuto awoke first the next morning. Akaashi lay on his chest, his breath quiet and easy. His shirt dipped over his shoulder, revealing the skin below. Out of force of habit, Bokuto reached to kiss Akaashi’s shoulder, stroking his arm.

Akaashi stirred, but did not wake. Bokuto wrapped his arms around Akaashi and sighed happily. “You have no idea how much I missed you, Keiji. I had nightmares about losing you, so much so that I went days without sleep. I couldn't bear seeing those nightmares. I thought of you every single waking moment, and I worried about you even more.

“I never thought something like that would happen to anyone who lived in my bubble because I thought we were safe. Turns out I was naive. But, I'm going to be stronger so I can protect you. 

“You're never going to be taken from me again, I swear. I swear on my own. Goddamn. Life,” he kissed Akaashi’s lips before cuddling the sleeping boy closer to his chest. 

“Mn…” Akaashi whined in his sleep, head turning upwards. Bokuto took the cue, kissing him again and again. The setter began to settle down, head resting over Bokuto's heart. 

One hour passed before Akaashi woke up, and when he did, Bokuto was gone. He sat up abruptly, panicking. His breath became fast and shallow. “Koutarou?!” he yelled as he stumbled out of bed, yet he tripped on the blankets and face planted into the carpet. “Koutarou!” This time, he screamed. 

Akaashi heard racing footsteps coming up the stairs, and he scrambled to hide under the covers, fear overthrowing his resolve. 

“Keiji! Keiji, it's okay!” Bokuto's voice was right beside Akaashi, and his hands pulled the blanket back, letting the light from the window hit his face and make his tears shine like morning dew. “Oh Keiji, I'm so sorry.”

Akaashi threw his arms about Bokuto's neck, crying into his shoulder. “I-I thought yo-you left me!”

“Oh Keiji, I could never,” Bokuto sat down in bed, pulling the setter into his lap. “I'm so sorry, I didn't know you would wake up. But, I made pancakes for us!” Akaashi sniffled loudly and Bokuto's heart broke. “Keiji, I'll never leave you alone again, I'm sorry.”

“I'm ju-just- I-” he couldn't speak any longer. 

Bokuto hugged him close, then picked him up like a princess. “Breakfast, Keiji?”

“Mh hm.”

“Okay,” Bokuto made for the kitchen, Akaashi still in his arms. He sat Akaashi on the counter, dishing out their pancakes and dressing them with butter and syrup. He placed the plates on the dining table, then went to carry Akaashi to the table as well. “Where do you want to sit?”

The setter just buried his face deeper into Bokuto's neck, and he immediately understood. He sat down, Akaashi in his lap. In-between bites of his own breakfast, Bokuto fed Akaashi a few bites as well. 

After breakfast, Akaashi watched from his spot on the counter as Bokuto cleaned up the plates and items used to make the pancakes. The spiker reached his arms up to Akaashi once he was finished, but he shook his head. He patted the countertop next to him. Bokuto shrugged, hopping into the counter and letting Akaashi lean on his shoulder. He wrapped an arm around his waist, enjoying each other's quiet company.

They didn't speak for about fifteen minutes, then Akaashi broke the silence. “I'm sorry for being a burden.”

“You're not a burden, Akaashi,” Bokuto whispered. “You're just recovering, and I have no problem not leaving your side. I love you.”

Akaashi fiddled with his fingers and sighed. “Sorry, Bokuto-san.”

“Don't apologize, Akaashi. It's alright, everything is okay,” he kissed Akaashi's cheek and smiled kindly.

For the first time in a while, Akaashi smiled back.

Akaashi's condition got better over the next month, and Bokuto was glad. The setter no longer got nervous when he woke up alone, because he had gotten used to Bokuto getting up to make breakfast. He still hated being alone for an extended period of time, and he still had nightmares and hallucinations in the dark, but Bokuto was never too far away.

He started smiling everyday again, as well as bringing his grades back up. His performance in volleyball improved, and the team was better than ever. No one could have been happier the moment the team saw Akaashi laugh when Bokuto nearly avoided getting tangled in the net. It was like an angel had descended from above and took the form of Akaashi.

However, the day of graduation came swift, catching Akaashi off guard. Before he knew it, Bokuto was receiving his diploma and shaking the hands of his teachers. 

“Huh..?” he wondered aloud. “Will…” Will I be alone again?

When they got back home that day, Akaashi just shut down. Right as he sat on the counter to watch Bokuto cook, he shut his brain off. He didn't want to think, to feel, because if he became aware, he wouldn't be able to take it.

“Keiji, time to eat,” Bokuto said, holding his hands up for Akaashi to climb into his arms. “Keiji?”

“O-oh, sorry,” he slid into his embrace, leaning his head on his collarbone.

“Keiji, you're thinking about me graduating, huh?” Bokuto asked, kissing Akaashi's cheek. The setter nodded, and Bokuto sighed. “Keiji, I'm delaying my college by a year so we can stay together.”

That took a moment to sink in. And when it did, Akaashi shook his head frantically. “No, you can't. It's-! this is your success we're talking about! Don't throw it away just for me!”

“Keiji, you still need to recover. Don't think I haven't noticed you whimpering in your sleep,” Bokuto said softly. 

“But-”

“No, Keiji. I've already decided. And don't worry, it'll be okay. We can go to college together as well, if you'd like!” He spun Akaashi around, making the setter giggle and smile. “Ah, there's that smile.” He pulled Akaashi into a chaste kiss, then walked over to the table. “Let's have dinner and then cuddle and watch a movie, kay?”

“Mh hm, kay,” he agreed, taking his rightful place in Bokuto's lap. Most days, he fed himself, but on days like this, he just leaned back and allowed Bokuto to feed him. And that's exactly what happened. 

Bokuto tucked the setter's head beneath his chin, stroking his arm kindly as they ate. 

“You know, Koutarou,” Akaashi started. “You've gotten really good at cooking lately.”

“Well, I love cooking for you,” Bokuto shrugged as he placed a bite of the dish in Akaashi's mouth. “And I wanted you to enjoy what you eat, so I practiced and learned for you, Keiji.”

The setter giggled and turned his head to listen to Bokuto's heartbeat. The spiker dropped the fork onto the plate, using that hand to soothe Akaashi hair. “Thank you for everything, Koutarou. I love you so much.”

“Oh Keiji, I love you too,” he hugged Akaashi fiercely, like he was afraid to let go. “I'm so sorry I couldn't protect you back then. I think about it every waking moment, that look of terror on your face when I opened that closet door and when that man snatched you away from me. I can't ever forget it and I…” he trailed off, a small tear slipping from his tightly closed eyes. “I'm so glad we found you, Keiji. I'm so glad I went with the police to search the building, I'm so glad.”

“I'm glad too, Koutarou. I wouldn't have gone out if you weren't there. I was too scared, if another man tried to take me, I wouldn't have gone,” he shuddered. “B-but it's okay now, right? We're gonna stay together forever.”

“Yes Keiji, yes we are. I promise, I'll never fail to protect you again,” he began to smother Akaashi's face with butterfly kisses.

Akaashi turned his head away slightly, blushing and smiling at the tender touch of Bokuto's lips. “I love you, Kou.”

“Ah, but I love you more, Keiji. My darling Keiji, my dearest Keiji, my loving Keiji, my beautiful Keiji, my wondrous Keiji, and all the Keijis in between!” After each time Bokuto said his name, he landed a kiss on whatever open space there was in Akaashi's face. 

Akaashi sighed happily, leaning against Bokuto again, who started slowly feeding himself and the setter. After a few minutes of comfortable silence, Bokuto patted Akaashi's sides to let him know the food was finished. He picked the setter up, setting him on the kitchen counter before grabbing the plates and putting them in the dishwasher.

He outstretched his arms to Akaashi again, taking him up and to the couch. He put a random movie on, yet didn't pay much attention since he was so focused on cuddling Akaashi. 

While the boy holding him fell asleep, Akaashi laid awake. He stared at the TV, entirely enthralled with the current movie. It was something he had seen before, yet couldn't remember where. It was a RomCom about a man who inherits a huge fortune and has to hang around New York until he's able to collect it fully. Mr Deeds, it was called. Akaashi was shocked by the stupidity of some of the characters, glad that this was just a movie instead of the real intentions of people.

The movie ended happily, and that made Akaashi smile. He shut the TV off, turning his head to rest comfortably on Bokuto's collarbone. But he couldn't sleep. He suddenly remembered where the movie sounded familiar from. The darkness reached for his face, gently caressing his shaking features. He sat up abruptly, shoving away from Bokuto, jumping off the couch and cowering in the corner. He stayed silent however, terrified to awake the sleeping boy.

It was Morishita’s favorite movie! He played it so often, how could I forget..? Akaashi rocked back and forth, gripping his hair and whimpering. He played this movie everytime after he… He didn't want to recall those perverted fingers trailing along his entire body, creeping and crawling on his skin as he cried, pleading to be left alone. He learned to stay quiet when it came to begging, because if he got “too annoying” or “ungrateful for this hospitality”, Morishita would hit the poor boy.

The sour embrace from the darkness around him began whispering gentle threats, which turned loud and poisonous to Akaashi's ears. He cradled his head, then lifted it and closed his eyes, coming to and accepting the conclusion he was about to be struck. 

Smack! The sound of a slap came hand in hand with the sharp pain in his face. His cheek burned, but all he did was stay silent. He had gotten used to this, yet he still allowed occasional words of plead to escape his lips.

Morishita picked him up by the shirt, throwing him across the room where he slammed into the wall, sliding down to the ground. He didn't cry out, he didn't even make a peep.

“You're an ungrateful little brat, Keiji!” the man screamed, storming over and yanking Akaashi's head up by his hair. “I give you everything, and this is what I get in return?! You're nothing but a worthless brat! From someone as beautiful as you, I expected much more!” 

He released Akaashi's hair, letting his head fall back to the floor. Tears slid out, dampening the ground in a gathering puddle. 

“Say something, goddammit!” he screeched, flipping Akaashi onto his back with his foot, then kicked his hip. “Pathetic boy,” he hissed, exiting the room with smoke coiling around his head.

Akaashi laid there in a pool of his own tears mixed in with just a few drops of blood dripping from the corner of his mouth. The pain was something he'd never get used to, but he had indeed come to terms with it. However, he never once thought about the pain in that moment. The only thing running through his brain was this. Bokuto-san will come and save me soon… I know he will. I just have to endure this for a bit longer, until he finds me. He'll always find me.

Someone was shaking his shoulders, begging him to wake up. Akaashi couldn't quite pinpoint the voice, but he knew it was familiar. How long has it been since the movie ended? How long has it been since the darkness took me? I don't know…

“Keiji, please wake up! Please don't leave me!”

Oh, I know who this is. It's Koutarou. I should wake up for him, he's worried. And is he? The thought trailed off as it was confirmed. No, he's crying because of me. He's crying. Koutarou is crying, he's crying. Crying, crying, crying!

“Because of me?” 

“Keiji!” He was enveloped again, but not by darkness. 

His shoulder was wet, and Akaashi kept quiet. He leaned against the wall, staring blankly at the figure who waved goodbye teasingly before disappearing into the shadows. 

His hand reached up, falling limp on Bokuto's shoulder blade, stroking the skin there unconsciously. “I'm sorry, I fell asleep-”

“No! No you weren't asleep, Keiji!” Bokuto wailed. “Keiji you were wide awake, pleading for help, Keiji I-I thought I had lost you.”

“I'm sorry. You're crying because of me,” was all he could manage before spontaneously bursting into tears himself.

Neither could manage a word, sitting in the sounds of their own cries. Ten minutes passed and the sobs died down, only sniffling remained in place. 

“K-Keiji, what caused this..?” he finally asked.

The boy hesitated, then spoke. “It was his favorite movie, I had just blocked that part out, so it never came up until I started thinking about it.”

“So it's my fault?”

“No! No no no it's not at all, Koutarou! Please don't say that, please,” he whispered weakly.

Bokuto opened his arms, taking Akaashi in as he rambled apologies. “I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.”

“Please don't say it anymore, Kou. I can't stand it when I know it's my fault-”

Bokuto tightened his grip as a response, shaking his head no. “He's the only one to blame, 'Kaashi. He's the only one because he took you away from me, changing you, making you… I don't know, Keiji, just-” he sighed. “Just know it's him. Not you, not me, him.”

“Yes, yes, it was all him,” he repeated into Bokuto's shoulder, then collapsed into Bokuto's arms. 

“Oh Keiji, I wish I could help you. All I do is watch you as you get better or get worse. I-I'm so sorry, Keiji. I can't do much for you,” he muttered as Akaashi slept soundly. He stroked the soft locks of hair, paralyzed there in silence. “I'm so sorry for not being able to help you, Keiji. Please forgive me for not being enough.”

He continued to soothe Akaashi, humming a quiet song under his breath. He proceeded to sing and hum until he found himself falling into slumber. But right before Bokuto fell asleep, he heard Akaashi whisper in a tiny, weak voice. “You’re more than enough.”

“Kaashi, are you sure you want to come with me? You don’t have to,” Bokuto took a glance down at the boy clinging to his arm. “I’ll be gone for a few hours so I can call Kuroo to come watch you while I’m gone.”

Akaashi shook his head. “I need to get out more anyways. It’ll be good to get some fresh air.”

“If you say so, Keiji,” Bokuto sighed, pulling Akaashi’s coat into place around his shoulders. He kneeled down, tying Akaashi’s shoes for him, then gazing up at him, a small smile on his face. “Last chance, Keiji. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable. We’ll be around a lot of people.”

“It’ll be okay, Kou,” Akaashi insisted, watching as Bokuto stood and adorned himself in his own coat and shoes.

“Alright then! Let’s gooo!” Bokuto tossed his keys into the air, catching them skillfully and taking Akaashi by the hand.

He dragged Akaashi to the car, opening the passenger car door for him and kissing his cheek before moving to let him sit down. Akaashi giggled as Bokuto slid the door shut and jumped over to the driver’s seat. He turned the key in the ignition, smiling wildly as he pulled out of the driveway and started down the road.

“So, what are you thinking of getting him?” Akaashi asked after they had been driving for a few minutes.

“Hmm,” Bokuto thought for a moment. “I have no idea!”

Akaashi raised an eyebrow, then rolled his eyes and sighed. “Of course. Is this why you’d be gone for a few hours? You’re looking around?”

“Yup yup!” Bokuto chirped, eyes on the road. “I know I’ve come to all of your games, but how is practice going, Akaashi? How does it feel to be the captain of Fukurodani?”

“Tiring,” he slumped down, chin resting on his hand. “I mean, they all listen to me but the first years are rowdy. You’d like them, Kou. One of them even said that you’re his hero.”

A rush of pride was sent through Bokuto’s body in a short tremor. “Really?! I’m his hero?!” 

“Yeah, you are, Kou!” Akaashi flashed a bright smile at him. “He even thinks my tosses are the best, just like you.”

That sent Bokuto pouting. “Really? He said that?” 

The setter giggled. “Don’t worry, Kou. You’re my favorite spiker. I am your setter, remember? Your setter, my ace,” he held out his hand along the seat compartment beside them, and Bokuto took it, grasping his hand just above the cup holders.

“Good! I’d better be your favorite spiker!” he huffed, pretending to angrily focus on the road. “So what’s his name? And is he playing in the starting line-up?”

“You know, he actually is in the starting line-up. His name is Nakajima Koji, number five. Really powerful hitter, and honestly, he’s not that tall. Only about 5’8,” he said, leaning back in his chair and squeezing Bokuto’s fingers.

“Ooh, like Hinata!” he gasped, smiling at the fond image of the human tangerine in his head.

“One drawback,” Akaashi pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head a few times. “He’s a lot like you, Kou. Energetic, loud, playful but also… he has his own form of emo-mode.”

Bokuto chuckled. “Oya oya? How is that going for ya?”

“Terrible! None of my previous methods work on him! He is a lot like you, but I can’t use any of my methods for you on him!” he groaned. “It’s tiring, having you graduate then have to deal with a trickier version of you.”

“Hey! I wasn’t that bad, right?!” he burst, nose scrunching up and mouth pressed into a frown.

Akaashi glanced at the window, staring at his own eyes in the reflection with an ‘Are you serious?’ expression crossing his features. “You were easier to manage, Kou. You weren’t that bad, at times.”

“Oh, good! Wait a minute-”

Akaashi let out a small string of giggles, taking Bokuto’s hand up to his mouth and kissing his fingers. “Don’t worry, Kou. You weren’t bad. I still love you.”

“I love you too but now I’m mad at you!” he pulled his hand away from Akaashi and replaced it onto the steering wheel.

“Fine fine, go ahead and be grumpy,” Akaashi waved his hand dismissively. “Guess I won’t be holding your arm when we’re in the stores.”

“No no no!” Bokuto judded his lip out more, his hair spikes sagging down. “I take it back, I’m not mad at you anymore!”

Akaashi gave a tiny grin to his reflection, then the car pulled to a stop in front of their first destination: the mall. The setter was about to get out, but Bokuto jumped out of the car first and raced to open the door. He showed his arm to Akaashi, who took it in his own and cuddled into Bokuto’s side, cheek pressed to his shoulder.

“So, firstly, we’re going to a plushie store,” Bokuto announced, walking Akaashi up to the entrance of the mall. 

“Kou he’s a second year in high school, and you think he’ll want a plushie?” he tilted his head up a tiny bit to look at Bokuto.

“Bold of you to assume I was getting the plushie for Hinata,” he smirked, landing a kiss on the top of Akaashi’s head.

“You’re such a child,” he remarked shortly, but leaned into his side even more.

“But! You do have to admit I am a bit more mature!” he stole a glance at Akaashi. “Right? I am, right?”

“Just a bit more, Kou,” he lowered his voice to a whisper. “And there’s plenty of reason for it…”

“What was that, Keiji?” 

“Ah, nothing. Just talking to myself. Let’s go now, yeah? Lead the way, Kou,” he forced a small smile onto his features, and Bokuto started speed walking to the plushie store.

“Yeah! Let’s go, Kaashi!”

“Okay, I know your feet are a bit tired but there’s just one more stop to make, alright? We have to get stuff to make dinner,” Bokuto parked in the lot of the supermarket, taking a second to look at Akaashi. “You gonna be okay?”

“Yes, I can take one more stop. I’m not too tired,” he unbuckled his seat belt, collecting his phone and opening the car door.

Bokuto nodded at him, stepping out just the same. He made for Akaashi’s side, taking his hand. “What do you feel like eating, Kaashi?”

“I’m not sure, surprise me,” he shrugged.

He smiled kindly down at him. “Sushi it is!”

Their trip only took about twenty minutes, and soon, they were standing in front of the store. But that’s when Bokuto realized something. “Ahh, shoot! Akaashi, I forgot to grab the seaweed wrapping!” he whined.

The setter sighed. “Should I go back in and grab it for you?”

“No! No no no, I got it! Just take the keys and head to the car, I’ll be back in just a minute!” he pressed a kiss to Akaashi’s temple, handed him the car keys and the bag in his hand, then rushed back inside the store. 

He fumbled with the bags, leaning against the wall of the store to fix the items in his hands comfortably. Just as he was about to push off the wall, a tall shadow loomed over him. He froze, staring down at the ground with wide eyes and a pale face. No no no no it can’t be him, he’s in jail! Calm down, Keiji calm do-

“Hey, you’re a pretty one, aintcha?” The man’s voice was strikingly close to Morishita’s. 

Akaashi began to tremble, fingers shaking on the bags and dropping the car keys onto the ground. “Ah, let me get those for you,” the man kneeled down, picking up the keys and finally stealing a look at Akaashi’s face. “Oh? You are really pretty, so much more up close.” He stood up again. “Look up at me, wontcha?”

The setter whimpered and shook his head, mouthing some words but not having the courage to speak. A hand grabbed his chin, lightly lifting his head up to stare the man in the eyes.

It wasn’t Morishita, but it didn’t lighten Akaashi’s fear at all. He reached a twitching hand up and pushed the man’s fingers off his face. But the man just chuckled, leaning closer to deepen their eye contact.

Just when the creep was about to kiss Akaashi, he was ripped away from the setter and a fist collided with his face. “What the hell do you think you’re doing to my Akaashi?!”

The man’s lip was split and bleeding, a bruise already forming on his cheekbone. “What the fuck, dude?!”

“I should be the one asking that, asshole! You can’t just harass someone!” Bokuto stood defensively in front of Akaashi. “Kaashi are you okay?” He got a quiet whimper as a response, and Bokuto cursed. “Stay away from my Akaashi.”

The man glared at Bokuto, then huffed and scrambled away, leaving behind a small trail of blood droplets. 

The spiker immediately turned his attention to the shaking Akaashi, grabbing the bags from his hands and walking him to the car. “I’m so sorry Akaashi. I didn’t- I shouldn’t have-” he cursed again, yanking open the car door for Akaashi who slowly filed in, eyes still wide and face still pale. He gently tossed the groceries into the backseat once his own car door was open, then he rested his forehead on the steering wheel.

“Don’t beat yourself up. It’s okay,” Akaashi whispered, one word every couple seconds, trying to keep his composure and not breaking down in the car. He stared straight ahead at the dashboard, zoning out with shaky irises. 

Bokuto leaned back in his seat, sticking the keys into the ignition and driving off, in the direction of home. The car was quiet. Music was off, voices were silenced, and the only sound to be heard was the wind whipping around outside.

Once they were parked in the driveway to Bokuto’s house, Akaashi inhaled a deep breath. “I’m alright, Kou. It was just a little scary, but I’m okay, I swear.”

Even more silence, then a stern glare from Bokuto. Akaashi gulped back his tears as he watched Bokuto exit the car and gather up the groceries and bags from the mall. He shakily stepped out too, seeing Bokuto already at the front door. “Kou, please, I’m alright! I’m f-fine!”

The door swung open, Bokuto went inside. Akaashi stumbled to follow, trying to keep up with the spiker but he had already taken off his shoes and was in the kitchen unpacking the groceries. Akaashi removed his shoes and shut the door, locking it as well. He stood stupefied outside the kitchen, gazing upon Bokuto preparing the sushi rice in the rice cooker.

He opened his mouth as he poured rice into a strainer, rinsing it. “I shouldn’t have left you alone, Keiji.”

“N-no one could have predicted it, Kou! Please just-”

“I’m sorry, Keiji. I’ve let you relive those memories,” he deadpanned, resting the rinsed rice in the cooker, adding some more water, and pressing down the button to begin the cooking process.

“I’m fine, Koutarou,” Akaashi grabbed the counter, leaning over a few inches to try and look Bokuto in the eyes.

“No, Keiji. I know you’re not. We have some time before the rice is done, let’s go sit on the couch,” Bokuto made for the living room and Akaashi almost tripped on his own feet as he hurriedly followed him. The spiker sat, finally looking at the setter and reaching his arms up.

He hesitated, then his face scrunched up as he began to wail. He collapsed into Bokuto’s open arms, sobbing. “H-h-he sounded so mu-much like him, Kou! I-I-I was so sca-scared!”

Bokuto ran his finger up and down Akaashi’s spine, keeping quiet as he painfully listened to his cries. The sobs dyed down over the course of the next twenty minutes, finally reaching just quiet sniffles by the time the rice cooker dinged, signalling the rice was completed. “I have to put it in the fridge, then I’ll get you a snack and we can watch a movie, alright?” Bokuto hoisted Akaashi up into his arms, carrying him to the kitchen and pushing him up onto the counter. 

He wiped at Akaashi’s eyes, then patted his cheek and kissed it before spreading the steamy rice onto a baking sheet covered with parchment paper. A few minutes went by, and the rice was placed into the fridge. He grabbed a granola bar from the pantry and handed it to Akaashi, escorting him back to the couch.

“You’re going to be okay, Kaashi. I won’t fail to protect you anymore,” he lifted his arm, and the setter slumped into his side. He dropped his arm, dragging the blanket by the corner and pulling it over the two of them.

“And I’ll do my best to stay calm,” he breathed, taking a small bite of the granola bar. He exhaled a shuddering breath, then listened to the steady beating of Bokuto’s heart. 

“Do you want a movie on in the background, Kaashi?” 

“Mh hm, go ahead and turn something on,” he closed his eyes, lazily chomping another bite off the granola bar. 

Bokuto searched around for a few minutes before settling on a movie. “What did you pick, Kou?” Akaashi’s eyes fluttered open as the movie began.

“It’s called Cloud Atlas,” he answered, keeping an arm secure around Akaashi as he shifted their position, laying across the pillows comfortably.

“Hm, haven’t seen it,” he hummed. “Should be a good one, it sounds cool.”

“Make sure you stay awake for the whole thing, Kaashi. Don’t want you missing out on anything by falling asleep,” Bokuto smiled softly.

“Wouldn’t think of it, Kou.”

Akaashi was completely enthralled with the movie, and the only thing that broke his concentration was the timer on Bokuto’s phone, alerting him to take the sushi rice out of the fridge. He patted Akaashi’s hips, telling him to get ready to be picked up as the movie was paused.

He shifted, leaning his chin on Bokuto’s shoulder as he was taken into a pair of strong arms, carried to the kitchen and placed on the counter once again. Akaashi watched as Bokuto dished out the sushi rice onto the seaweed wrapping, decorating it with fillings and rolling it neatly. He repeated this process three more times, two rolls of sushi for each of them.

First, Bokuto set up the table trays in the living room, placing their plates accompanied by the soy sauce down on them, then retreated to the kitchen and carried Akaashi back over. “Do you want to sleep after the movie is over?” he asked quietly, reaching for the remote and waiting for a response.

“We can go lie in bed, but I don’t want to sleep yet. I just want hugs,” he said earnestly, picking up his chopsticks as soon as he was situated in his seat. 

“And hugs you shall get, Keiji!” Bokuto dug into his own sushi. 

“Kou, slow down. You’re either going to choke or spill the soy sauce,” Akaashi took a napkin to the spiker’s chin, patting the few drops of soy sauce dry. 

“I’ll be fine! Keiji is here to save me!” he chirped, flashing his best and brightest smile at Akaashi.

“Of course, I’m here to save you.”

Save me, save me, Bokuto-san please save me. He ignored the small string of memories, all for Bokuto’s sake. Please, I don’t want to hurt anymore, save me. He’s hurting me, stop him and save me.

He kept on eating his sushi, looking over at Bokuto every couple minutes to wipe his face and make sure he wasn’t eating too fast.

That was when his mind suddenly forced an unwanted thought into his brain, overtaking his entire head with its toxins and poison. 

‘Save me, Akaashi! He’s hurting me, Akaashi!’ His eyes went wide and he blanked out, his focus point being the splotch of soy sauce on his ceramic plate. No, no please no. Don’t think about it, please don’t!

‘Akaashi, I don’t want to be here! Come get me, come save me! Please! Make it all stop! It hurts!’

“Keiji?”

Akaashi screamed in surprise, fear knocking him into the air, jumping from the couch and scrambling to the arm of the couch. He screwed his eyes shut and hugged himself, hands pushing his shoulders down to keep from shaking.

Bokuto reeled his hands back, keeping them on the couch for balance instead of touching Akaashi. “It’s okay, Keiji. No one here is going to hurt you. You’re safe.”

Safe, safe, safe. Yes, I’m safe. Bokuto is safe, too. Everything is oka-

‘Please make it stop!’

“Make it stop!” Akaashi screamed again, shoving his hands over his ears. “Please make it all stop, Koutarou! It hurts, it hurts, it hurts so much!”

Bokuto was dumbfounded, eyes widening and narrowing in a flurry of expressions. He didn’t know what to do, Akaashi wasn’t in his right mind. He couldn’t tell what he needed, unlike normal. He couldn’t think clearly, as he was trying to block out Akaashi’s cries and pleads in order to illuminate the solution.

He didn’t know if just words would work, nor physical contact. He didn’t seem stable enough for anyone to touch him, being Bokuto or not. He was at a loss for words, thoughts, and actions. He stopped everything for a moment, suddenly remembering a vital piece of information. He stood abruptly, rummaging roughly through his pockets until he found his phone, tossing it to the couch and rushing to his bedroom. He snatched his comfortable pair of headphones from his desk, flying back downstairs.

Akaashi was still cowering against the arm of the couch, whimpering loudly as he cried in fear and pain. Bokuto ignored the tremor in his hands and heart as he plugged the headphones into his phone, quickly entering his passcode and clicking on his music app. He turned towards Akaashi, taking light steps towards the boy and speaking with a soft tone. “Kaashi, Kaashi please move your hands for just a moment, baby.”

The boy didn’t seem to hear, as his hands didn’t budge an inch. Bokuto gently touched his wrists, taking the hands away from his ears and slipping the headphones on before the hands shot back to his ears. He began the playlist, watching Akaashi’s expression shift from terrified to semi-tranquil as the song played. Bokuto released the breath he didn’t know he was holding and collapsed to the floor on his back, breathing deeply.

A few minutes passed, and Bokuto was just about to sit up when he heard Akaashi’s voice begin to sing hoarsely. “Tell me why the sky clears after we are soaked by the rain? Why is it so easily forgotten?”

Bokuto immediately recognized the song, as he had been the one to show it to Akaashi. He had created this entire playlist to be a comforting tool for Akaashi, calming him down with songs of his own recommendation. “It's a peaceful evening in town, in a corner an umbrella was left; by closing my eyes, the memories pass by,” he sang, standing and reaching a hand for Akaashi. “I will be there by your side. What's falling is a drop.”

The setter pocketed the phone, joining Bokuto in the middle of the living room, supporting himself just on shaky legs. He felt Bokuto wrap his arm around his waist, taking some of the weight off Akaashi’s feet. He began swaying back and forth, fingers curling around Akaashi’s own. Bokuto smiled at the larger hands, gently guiding the other to his shoulder and replacing that hand on his waist.

“Like a news you don't want to believe, my heart aches but somewhere there's also a side of myself that believes that's not it,” Akaashi closed his eyes and leaned his head against Bokuto’s shoulder, pulling themselves closer to each other. 

The continued the song, whispering the lyrics softly until it came to an end, and another song began. However, neither one sang for the other. Instead, Bokuto just held his setter and swayed around the living room, playfully twirling him around by his fingertips and pulling him back into a dip. Every so often, Akaashi would giggle as he followed through with the simple motions. 

About forty minutes passed before Akaashi slipped the headphones off and gave Bokuto a small smile, full of gratitude yet a hint of apology on the corner of his lips. “I’m sorry I freaked out, Kou. I guess it was just one of those days,” he shrugged, and Bokuto shook his head.

“You were on edge, Kaashi. You have no need to apologize. I’m just glad I was able to calm you down,” he exhaled a kind breath, tickling Akaashi’s nose with its fumes.

“Eww, Kou your breath smells!” Akaashi waved his hand in front of his nose, scowling playfully. “Seaweed breath.”

Bokuto pouted, then smelled his own breath and practically gagged. “You’re right, Kaashi, you’re right,” he pushed himself a few feet away from Akaashi as he continued gagging and retching at the smell of his own breath.

Akaashi covered his snickering mouth with one hand, the other patting Bokuto’s shoulder. “Mint? Or just want to take a shower and brush your teeth?”

“Just a mint for now,” he finally fixed his posture, then collapsed dramatically onto the couch, arm flung over his forehead in a false sense of distress. “For I wish to kiss you, my dear Keiji!”

My dear Keiji, why must you run from me? 

Akaashi nodded, and as soon as his back was turned to Bokuto, a neutral expression overtook his features. He went into the kitchen, extracting a small box of mints from a drawer and pulling two out. He held them in his palm, fingers clenched around them. Making for the living room, his smile returned as he sat in Bokuto’s lap and handed him the cracked mints.

The spiker popped them into his mouth, chewing them for a moment then he opened his mouth. “Is this better, Keiji?” he huffed a breath right into Akaashi’s nose, and he smiled in approval.

“Much better, Kou.” The spiker’s excitement shone through his mostly-composed, and he gently tugged Akaashi down for a tender kiss. A thumb ran down Akaashi’s cheek, soothing the skin on his chin as the other fingers played with the small tufts of hair behind his petite ears.

Akaashi tilted his head, deepening the embrace and allowing his fingertips roam over the broad shoulders of the spiker. He pulled back an inch to take an inhale. Bokuto gazed down at him, comfort and care in his eyes. 

But something shifted in those beautiful golden eyes. They became evil, wretched orbs that shot through Akaashi’s own like bullets. The hands around him dropped, then shoved him to the ground roughly. Akaashi cried out, fear overtaking his nerves and making him scramble away from Bokuto. “W-what’s wrong with you? What did I do? I’ll fix it, I promise!” he spouted off nonsense afterwards as Bokuto stalked towards him.

“There is nothing for you to fix, because it’s all you, just you in general. You’re an ungrateful brat, Keiji,” the voice of his beloved Bokuto was gone. 

The voice that replaced it was Morishita’s. 

“What do you mean? What’s going on? Koutarou please-!” he yelped as Bokuto grabbed him by the chin harshly. 

“You’ve been repeating that boy’s name in your sleep for so long, I’ve had enough.”

The house fell silent, then a harsh smack rang out as well as Akaashi’s exclaim of pain. He curled against the wall, then his eyes jerked open and he jolted upright in bed. His breath was shallow and rapid, causing his vision to blur and his knees to buckle.

“You’re finally awake, Keiji. That seemed like a nice dream you were having,” Morishita spat out. “More than seven months, and you’re still having those dreams. Pathetic little boy. You’re hopelessly attached to that spiker boy.”

Akaashi trembled, feeling the sting on his cheek wane. “I-I’m sorry, I’ve be-been trying not to sleep-talk,” he whispered. “Bu-but-”

Another slap found its way onto his face, and he clamped his mouth shut. “No buts, Keiji. You will stop sleep-talking because you are interrupting my own slumber. Now, go get a glass of water and come back to bed. If you don’t stop rambling tonight, you’re sleeping in the closet. Is that clear?”

“Y-yes,” he mumbled.

“What was that?” he growled.

“Yes, Morishita!” he said, louder. He stepped out from under the covers, tiptoeing into the kitchen and grabbing a glass cup from the cupboard. However, his shaky hands betrayed him and the glass smashed all across the floor. His eyes went wide as he froze. Bokuto-san isn’t here, Bokuto-san isn’t here, he isn’t here and I’m going to get hit. 

“KEIJI!” a roar from the bedroom ricocheted down the hallway and into his ringing ears. 

No no no please no I don’t want to get hit again! “I-I’ll clean it up, I promise!” Gunmetal blue eyes searched frantically for the dustpan and broom, which they found in the corner near the oven. 

He stepped to grab it but instead, a shard of glass inserted itself into his heel. He stifled a scream by biting down on his shirt and squeezing his eyes shut. Limping towards the broom, he quickly swept up the glass. He sat on the floor, whimpering as he eased the shard from his foot. Wrapping up the bloody foot in a couple paper towels and his sock, Akaashi stood and grasped onto another cup. He filled it with water, sitting down to drink it. 

He heard his ringtone echo from Morishita’s office, sending an arrow of pain right through his heart. He’s graduated by now, hasn’t he? How come he hasn’t moved on and forgotten me? I’m guessing it’s the same reason as I.

He tilted his head back to finish off the water, shivering at the thought of Morishita’s arms around him. Seven months, and I’m still here. Maybe the police assumed me dead. Maybe they’ve given up on finding me. Who can blame them? I’m just one boy, after all. 

Akaashi, almost tripping over his own feet, used the wall for balance as he made for the dreaded bedroom where the man lay awake. “You smashed a glass, Keiji? You got hurt, didn’t you?”

He jumped at the sudden voice from the bed, then nodded in the dim light. “Y-yes, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to.”

“Excuses. Get over here. I bet you’ve hardly badanged it correctly,” he snapped, sitting up and beckoning Akaashi to him. 

The setter obliged, struggling towards the bed and collapsing right into Morishita’s hands, grimacing at the shoot of pain from his foot. Morishita scoffed, his sour fingers caressing Akaashi’s cheek. “Look at you, Keiji. You’re such a mess, yet you always manage to look so beautiful,” he hissed, pulling Akaashi up into his lap by his underarms. 

He watched as a first-aid kit was extracted from the bedside table drawer, and remembered one of his dreams. Bokuto-san bandaged my feet as well, but Morishita doing it is just so wrong and… 

He let out a low mewl as a bandage was wrapped tightly around his heel, and Morishita gave a hum of approval. “I’ll change it tomorrow. But this should suffice for now.”

Akaashi whimpered out a “thank you,” before feeling those disgusting arms around his waist and chest, reclining him back and under the covers. 

“Remember, no sleep-talking, Keiji,” Morishita warned as he planted a small kiss on the nape of the boy, who winced and nodded once. 

He closed his eyes, trying so hard to not think of the dual-toned spiker. But, as always, it was impossible. Slipping into an uneasy sleep, Akaashi dreamt of himself and Bokuto. They were giving Hinata his birthday gift, which turned out to be a new volleyball as well as new knee pads. 

It left Akaashi yearning, yearning for his dreams to become reality. It’s been seven and a half months since Akaashi has seen his family, his friends, and the one he loved. It’s been seven and a half months since Akaashi was taken into the captivity of Morishita. It’s been seven and a half months…

And he just wanted to disappear.

“He’s still out there!” Bokuto insisted. “I don’t care if I have to search for him entirely on my own!” 

“Bokuto, please,” Kuroo pleaded over the phone. “Please you need to take a break! This isn’t good for your health!”

“My Akaashi is out there, Kuroo! He’s out there and he’s hurting, I know he is!” he growled. “Almost eight months, Kuroo! Can’t you even try to imagine how he must be feeling?!”

Silence.

“Akaashi has never had the highest self-esteem, Kuroo. He’s always felt inferior to other setters, and just people in general. He’s had a breakdown in front of me because he watched Kageyama and how much of a better setter he is! If I know him,” he paused to take a breath, “then he’s thinking we’ve proclaimed him dead!”

More silence.

Then, a choked back sob from Kuroo. “Bokuto, I know. I know, I know, I know!” His breath was shaky over the line, trying to hide his new layer of tears. “I’m not saying he’s gone, Bokuto. I’m just saying-”

“No.”

“No what, Bokuto? No to what?!”

“You can’t add ‘I’m just saying’ onto whatever you’re going to say! I know it’ll be something bad and I can’t have any more scenarios in my head!” he clenched his jaw and flexed his fingers, feeling the satisfying pop of his knuckles. “You know what, just no. I’m going, Kuroo. I need a fucking nap.”

“Fine by me, stubborn owl,” Kuroo snapped.

“Bye, idiot rooster head!” Bokuto ended the call, bursting into tears of frustration and sorrow for the… “Dammit! I can’t even keep count anymore!” he slammed his phone onto his pillow and covered his raining eyes.

Bokuto-san, you have to keep looking up. Remember, we are the protagonists of the world. 

“Please Akaashi, I’m begging you. Please come back home,” he turned to the imaginary setter beside him, trying so hard to lean his head onto the non-existent chest. He ended up face planting into his pillow.

I’ll always come back home. That’s what it’s there for, isn’t it? Home is the place you return to at the end of your journey. My case might not be a journey, but it could be considered an unplanned and unwanted trip. Even so, I’ll return. Just please be a little more patient.

“I’ve been patient, Akaashi!” Bokuto started to wail. “For eight months, Akaashi I’ve waited! How much longer?”

Patience, Bokuto-san. Patience is key. It will all happen in time. 

“I’ll trust you, Akaashi. I’ll always trust you. But I’m not sure how much longer I can take this.”

Just sleep for now, Bokuto-san. Clear your head. I’ll be here.

There was a faint recognition of touch over his chest, ghost fingers blatantly gesturing to his heart. “Okay, Akaashi.”

With the hallucination of Akaashi humming in his ear, Bokuto fell asleep. As always, Akaashi was in his dreams. His tiny smile, his breath-taking gunmetal blues, and the hands that overlapped Bokuto’s own. But this one was different.

Instead of a sobbing, hurting Akaashi, the setter was sitting in a field of daisies and lilies, kneeling and reaching his nimble fingers for the velvet soft petals of the plants. He looked up, blue meeting gold. “Hello, Bokuto-san. Join me, would you?”

“Kaashi,” he breathed, then took off running for the setter, falling to his own knees and hugging him tightly. “Kaashi, I’ve missed you so much.”

“I know this is just a dream, but it feels so real, doesn’t it?” he leaned against Bokuto, taking in his scent as well as the floral aroma of the atmosphere around them. “Lucid dreams are quite remarkable.”

“Wait, Kaashi, what are you talking about? This is my dream, isn’t it?” Bokuto cocked his head to the side, raising an eyebrow in confusion.

“Hm, seems as though the people in this dream can also break the fourth wall,” he hummed, still relaxed against the ace and playing with the petals of a lily. “Oh, look. It’s an orchid, Bokuto-san.” He reached and grasped the stem of the orchid, then shook his head. “I’ll leave it be.”

“Akaashi please let me speak for a moment,” Bokuto’s eyes widened in sudden realization. 

“Of course, Bokuto-san.”

“Okay, so, you’re ‘breaking the fourth wall’ or whatever it’s called, yeah? You understand this is a dream?” he asked, voice rushed to speak his mind.

“Yes.”

“So, Akaashi, where are you right now? Like, outside of your dream?” he finished.

“I’m not sure, actually. I don’t remember which ways I was taken down,” he shrugged. “It was eight months ago, after all.”

Bokuto cursed under his breath. “Nevermind then, Kaashi. Let’s just enjoy this time together before I wake up.”

“Yeah,” he raised a hand up to turn Bokuto’s head, landing a soft peck on his lips before turning back to the field. “Still looking for me?”

“Of course, Kaashi,” he hugged the setter’s waist tight. “I’m never going to give up on you.”

“Thank you, Koutarou. It means so much more to me than you think. I know, right? Such simple words, easily spoken phrases, yet they mean so much. Funny, isn’t it? I’m holding on to a dream’s words thinking they’re going to make the pain go away,” he sighed. 

“Are you in pain, Akaashi?” Bokuto whispered, rather remorsefully. 

“Sometimes. Right now, yes. But I don’t always hurt. At least, not physically. It always hurts in my heart, making you wait for this long, and possibly even longer,” he played with his fingers, twiddling them around then intertwining them with Bokuto’s. 

“I’m going to find you, and I’m going to save you. No matter how long it takes. That’s a promise, Kaashi,” he swore, guiding Akaashi’s head to rest over his heartbeat. 

“Alright. I have to go now, Bokuto-san. Wake up for me, okay? You’ve been napping for a while now,” he patted his cheek, standing up and brushing off some grass from his lap. 

Leaning in for one more kiss, which he received, Bokuto awoke. The warmth on his lips was gone. So was the sunlight and the flowers. And… so was Akaashi. All that was left was the darkness of his bedroom, only a small sliver of daylight sneaking in through the crevice between the curtains.

Sure, the dream had ended. Akaashi wasn’t in reach, and this could have just been one whole lucid dream, but it gave Bokuto hope. And that spark of hope was all he thought necessary for finding his setter; his Akaashi Keiji.

**Author's Note:**

> HAHAHAHAHAHAHA SUE ME!!!!!! THE SEQUEL IS GONNA TAKE A LONG TIME, MY FRIENDS!!!! HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! (I am so sorry)
> 
> I probably should have mentioned this when I published the story but it just now decided to pop up in my head. The song I used when they were slow dancing is Umbrella by Flow, translated into English. That's probably why it's not recognizable. Have a great day! :D


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